What to do after the first draft?

I struggle to finish my dissertation (due in two weeks)

I have officially completed the first draft of my master’s project. It has been a difficult process getting to this point and I will be honest and say that shows in the beginning chapters of my project. This is the longest piece of fiction I have completed since I was 16 and that in itself is a huge achievement. From the ages of 13-16 I spent a large amount of my free time writing a short novel which ended up being around 50,000 words. While it wasn’t the best novel in the world and was littered with cliches and teenage angst, I still am very proud of that achievement.

So now, having accomplished the great feat of 16,000 words, I am a little stuck on what to do next. With the old project I simply closed the document and moved on, reusing the characters archetypes in a later project to try and reinspire myself before eventually moving on to something new entirely. This one, however, is meant to be submitted in 18 days so I do not have that same luxury any longer.

What does one do with a first draft? All the advice I’ve been told is to leave it for as long as possible before taking another look. However, I do not have the luxury of time. I left it for about two weeks and am going to spend the next week poring over every piece of it and then writing a reflective essay.

The biggest problem is always, always pacing. Pacing is one of the most difficult things to nail in a piece of work and one of the things I most often critique. If your story is slow-paced it needs to deserve it, if your story is long it needs to have even footing, if your story is fast-paced it needs to culminate into something. And if your story starts slow and then quickly speeds up it needs to deserve that catharsis. Personally, my most favorite pacing in a piece of work is The Batman (2022). The story arches expertly, always twisting towards its climax and each scene adding to that climb. Every story beat is interesting and there is no real filler (besides that fairly unnecessary Joker scene). I would love to have The Batman level pacing but I don’t think I do.

My story builds its tension throughout, focusing mainly on the inner monologue of the lead female character, Molly. It focuses on the relationships between herself, her father, and her prospective fiance Richard. The story has a vague 1950’s vibe and social expectations, with Molly’s main goals being to free herself from her father and to attain some sort of control over her life. This tension is built through tense conversations, frightening male characters, and eventually the existence of an otherworldly monster.

By the time I arrived at the monster, however, my word count had already hit 12,000 and my cap is 15,000. So things really picked up after that. After running the story by some peers, I was informed that my pacing pays off and that the tension built through the beginning of the story culminates well in the end. I choose to believe them. Maybe it simply isn’t to my pacing expectations. I need to rewrite the first chapter anyways because I previously submitted it, so there’s a chance I could cut it down by at least 500 words. I fear in the beginning of the story I was so nervous about getting to the monster I was writing just to hear myself write. The main character does not need to have a deprecating monologue every time she looks into the mirror but it sure does add to the character.

I am a picky reader. I have always known this. I love books and I know what I like in a book. It’s easy for me to pinpoint flaws and to consider the things I’d change had I been in the room. This pickiness does apply to my own writing and it is a difficult thing to get past. I am the most critical and I struggle to truly love anything I’ve written unless I have several years distance from it. I always say when it comes to horror, goth, etc. you have to be careful to not delve too deep into angsty kitschy territory. Things can start to cheapen if you let them and you have to hold a strong view of what you’re writing and trying to say. Things cannot just be gory and you call it a day, some sort of purpose needs to be served. Scream is an excellent movie that handles its campiness well, this aspect of it has started to cheapen a bit in the reboots, but the original has serious bite alongside its jokes and metahumor.

So now I have to return to the draft and see what I’ve written. Is it cheap? Does it keep its eyes on the prize? Do I talk too much about teeth? I’ll have to find out. Once I have finished the project I may upload it chapter by chapter here. My plan is to develop into a full-length novel because I believe it has the fundamentals to go the distance. Perhaps after I polish my horror anthology idea (which I still fully believe in.)

It’s disappointing that the job hunt is going to now take precedence, it’s been a fun year of writing, but there’s a chance it also helps. I did a lot of good writing when it was a hobby in high school and something I used to escape. It suddenly became much harder when it was my full-time gig as a student. However, I would kill to be a full time writer and could definitely make it work with some structure. I just need a job first and then I can write on the side! The magazine has also fully become my passion project. I spend perhaps too much time a day staring at analytics and debating new ways to find more talented writers/artists to contribute. So I am certainly excited to have my responsibilities narrowed from university, internship, and magazine to job and magazine. I just need the job!